


For Those That Are Lost

by heyitsamelia5



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: 13 years, Angst, AruAni, Comfort, Death, Domestic Fluff, F/M, Life - Freeform, Love, Mikasa and Armin Friendships, Post-Rumbling, Titans have a time limit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-18
Updated: 2021-02-18
Packaged: 2021-03-14 05:48:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,820
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29537766
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/heyitsamelia5/pseuds/heyitsamelia5
Summary: Annie has 1 more year left until her time is up, that was the price of being a Titan. She doesn't want to leave her life. Armin doesn't want to lose her, how will he live when she is gone?
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Annie Leonhart, Mikasa Ackerman & Armin Arlert
Comments: 3
Kudos: 54





	For Those That Are Lost

It was her last year to live. Twelve years ago, she inherited the female titan and accepted the power at the cost of her life. Thirteen years seemed like plenty of time back then, but now she found herself begging for more. A lot had happened these past few years, and she was frozen in her titan skin for four of them. 

“What are you thinking about?” her husband whispered into her hair as he pulled her closer in their shared bed. Despite all the death, all the time lost, the shortened lifespan, she didn’t find herself regretting any of it. She knew what she did hurt people, she knew their mission is what caused so many people to die, but she also knew if it wasn’t her it would have been someone else. That’s the thing about violence, it doesn’t occur at only one person's hand. Marley would have found someone else to inherit the female titan and the war would have happened anyway.

“Nothing,” she turned to kiss him on the forehead. She couldn’t regret anything, not when all her decisions led her to here, in bed with the man she loved. She didn’t even know she could love, not anyone aside from her father anyway, but Armin was different.

“Come on, I’ve told you what I’ve been thinking for four years without a response back, you could at least give me one now," he grumbled, his voice hoarse and eyes still closed. Those four years were the strangest for Annie and Armin was what got her through it. Of course, Hitch came in at times to talk to her too, but it was different with Armin. Hitch treated her like a diary, Armin would pause as if he was waiting for her to answer her back. So many times she wanted to, but she knew what was going on outside and didn’t want to leave. She didn’t want to take part in these matters between Marley and Paradis. But oh so many times she wanted to hug him, to come out and feel the warmth of another human. 

“It’s really nothing,” Annie whispered and paused. She had grown very good at hiding her inner thoughts, sometimes she forgot she didn’t have to with Armin. “It’s just that I love you.”

“I love you too,” he opened his eyes to look at her. She focused her attention on them, they were a lot different from the eyes she once knew. Before she got in her shell, they glowed with innocence and hope. She hated that he didn’t know the true reality of the world, how much everyone on Paradis was hated. Then, she woke up and discovered his eyes didn’t shine so bright anymore. He was jaded and depressed and she found herself longing to see the glint of hope that he once wore. His eyes had changed again now, not quite as hopeful, but not quite as solemn either. There was something else as well, something she couldn't quite place. She liked his blue eyes, she loved all of him.

“That’s not it, it’s just that you know what today is.” Armin tensed at her comment.

“I know,” he pulled her in closer, “12 years ago, you inherited the female titan, didn’t you? That means-”

“I have only one year left.” she cut him off. She hadn’t meant to start crying, she never cried, but tears were streaming down her face now and she didn’t know how to tell them to stop.

“Annie,” he whispered.

“For the first time in my life I don’t want to leave, I don’t want to die. I wish everything could be normal.” She didn’t know what normal entailed and had never experienced it for herself, but it had to be better than this. She wanted what she read in books. She wanted to grow old, have kids, and live a peaceful life. She wanted to do it all with Armin, but their time together was coming to an end.

“I’ll be right here, we’ll be together. I promise.” His shirt was soaked with her tears, but he still held her close. She knew she was going to lose this one day, but for now, it felt good to be surrounded by his warmth.

**1 year and a few months later**

Armin sat next to his late wife’s gravestone and talked to it like he once talked to her frozen body suspended in titan skin. It didn’t feel the same though, she hadn't been dead last time. Last time he could reach out and almost touch her, and some part of him knew that she would come out. Now she felt lost to him, permanently. 

“Jean apparently has been getting close to Pieck. I’m not sure why, but they seem like they’d work well together. Hitch also is pregnant, she and her partner seem happy. I’m glad she was able to find someone after Marlow.” He continued to update her as pulled the grass next to her gravestone for the next two hours. He had things to do, he was tasked with helping smooth over relations between Eldians and Marley. It was good work and it kept him distracted, but his heart wasn't in it. Annie and he spent most of last year traveling together before her time was up, it was quite possibly the best year of his life, but it was over now and she was dead and he was struggling to move on.

“I miss you, I know I say this whenever I visit, but I really do. I miss the way you smiled when no one was looking, I miss your death glare when I did something stupid, I miss the warmth of our bodies together in bed. I miss you Annie more than you can imagine.” Armin was crying now, he had been doing quite a lot of that lately. He avoided it when Annie was still here, he didn’t want to upset her more. He made her believe that he’d be okay when she was gone, but he wasn’t.

It was strange, Armin was no stranger to loss, he had experienced so much of it these past few years. First, it was his parents, then his grandfather, his comrades, Eren, and now Annie. He thought he would get used to it at some point, but he never did. Each loss still managed to wound him in ways he never thought possible. Annie was the first woman he ever loved in that way, and probably the only woman he would love in that way. He knew that his time would come to an end eventually as well. He had less than 5 years left at this point, but even that seemed pointless. 

He wasn’t suicidal, and he appreciated being alive, but sometimes he wished his clock aligned with Annie’s. He wished that they could have left this world together because living without her was too painful for him to handle. Of course, there was a lot of good he could do with his remaining time. Historia needed his help and he was happy to offer it, but he found his will to live slip ever so slightly.

At first, he was living to see the sea, and eventually, he found it. Next, it was to help Paradis in its war against Marley. Finally, it was for Annie and the home they created together. He couldn’t believe that they decided to elope two months into their relationship, but he hadn't regretted that decision once. He loved being able to call her his wife and she seemed to like calling him her husband. It was comforting to belong to someone in that way and now with her gone, he felt untethered. He floated through his days not sure what to do. Sometimes he wished they had children so he could have been left with a piece of her after she was gone. Although he knew that would have been irresponsible. With both of them marked by their expiration dates, they knew it was unfair to bring a child into the world. Hange, in her discussions with Hizuru, found a way to prevent pregnancy and although it broke his heart, they decided it was the best course of action.

“Talking to Annie again?” Mikasa snuck up behind him, wearing the traditional clothes of Hizuru. They suited her and she seemed to have taken to the ambassador role well.

“Just updating her on what was going on,” his voice was shaky, a sign he was crying just a few minutes ago.

“She’d probably tell you to move on.”

“I know, it’s just that I don’t want to." his tears started again. "I wish I was the one to go first, it would have been so much easier than living without her.”

“Don’t talk like that Armin!” Mikasa's voice came out more hostile than he was expecting.

“Mikasa-” he started.

“No, please listen," she softened her tone, "we’ve all lost people, but we need to keep on living okay? I miss my parents, I miss our comrades, I miss Eren.” she paused at his name and he knew not to push. Armin was devastated by Eren’s death, but he knew it hit Mikasa differently.

“Mikasa-I didn’t mean-”

“What I mean is we have both lost people Armin, we have both lost so much, but I know the people we lost would want us to keep living even when it is difficult.” she sounded broken, this was a side of Mikasa that rarely revealed itself.

“Mikasa,” Armin stood up and pulled her into a hug.

“Armin,” she cried into his shoulder, “We have lost so many people and soon I’ll lose you too. You and I, we’ve been together since the beginning, so I can’t have you talking about dying like that. You’re the last person alive that I love. Armin, I don’t want to hear you talking about dying.”

“Don’t worry, I’m not going anytime soon,” he felt her sink into the hug. Mikasa was more than a friend to him, she was more like a sister or a mother. They’d followed Eren to hell, but now it was just the two of them. She was the only person left that he loved, and having her next to him reminded him of why he had to live. They had been together since the beginning and he’d be by her side until it was his time to leave. That’s what Eren would have wanted, that’s what Annie would have wanted. It was easy to get caught up on those that they’d lost. It was easier to forget who was still here, but he wouldn’t forget. She’d lose him eventually, but for right now he was here. He would continue living for his parents, his grandfather, his comrades, Eren and Annie. He knew that once he left, she'd continue living for him as well.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading everyone. This is my first fanfiction in a while, and my first fanfiction in this fandom so I appreciate you reading. I'd love to interact with you guys in the comments if possible. Thanks again!


End file.
